Gardenias

I was so thankful to enjoy the beautiful, intoxicating scent of gardenias while I was sitting on the steps today waiting on the yoga studio to open.  Summer is finally in the air here in Washington and I am pretty thankful for this.  For me, it was a long and fucking painful winter, however, I feel the purpose of life is to continue to evolve and learn lessons - so I guess this is the roller coaster we all signed up for.  I was reviewing my calendar/journal this morning while riding the ferry to Seattle and realized something.  I didn't give myself any space or grace after getting out of the Navy and by doing this the universe handed me a big "melt down"  (aka: spiritual awakening #2)  just kidding, I don't know what to call it but melt down seems like the best description of the event.  Everything familiar in my life was no longer and it is something that I had been looking forward to since the early 2000's, however, change and evolving isn't so easy but it is damn sure worth it.  I am so thankful that I can look at a picture of myself from 2013 and not even recognize the person that is in the photo.  I was lost and looking for so much validation through the eyes of another person as well as the world around me.

My mothers mother died in May of this year and I was lucky enough to get to have a medium share her guidance to me about a week or two later.  I asked the question "What is my purpose in life?"  and her wise answer was "your purpose is to serve yourself first."  WOW!!!  What amazing guidance & perfect timing.  Why the heck have I been so worried or concerned about how I can serve everyone else when personally I am a "hot mess."  She told me that I needed to find happiness inside and this couldn't be farther from the truth.  From the outside some people may look like they have it all together, however, as my teacher told me this weekend "there isn't one human on the planet that isn't a big mess."  My teacher told us we are all struggling with things and this is a healer that has worked with CEOs of huge companies, Celebrities, and people suffering from terminal illnesses; she has seen it all.  During class on Saturday hearing this simple wisdom really helped me understand that life is a constant learning lesson and we have never "ARRIVED."   I feel the best thing to do for myself right now is to be thankful for the simple pleasures in life like being able to smell the flowers while I sit on the steps and wait on the yoga studio to open.

I have intentions for the future, however, at the moment I am keeping things to myself in order for me to protect my vision and allow spirit to do the guiding.  Somehow, this involves me moving out of my home and into the unknown (also known as my teardrop camper.)  People ask, what are you going to do?  What is  your plan?  To be completely honest, I don't know what I am going to do exactly, I don't have a plan.  I do however trust that I am fully supported by my guides and teachers to learn the lessons I am needing to learn in order to set up for the best possible path to follow.  I will keep my intentions strong and reaffirm them daily through my thoughts and meditations.

As of today, I will be moving out of my home before 24 August which is the official closing date.  I did tell my realtor that I would be open to moving out sooner if the closing process is ahead of schedule.  Yesterday I scheduled my home goods delivery and will look forward to getting the call from the moving company that will be moving my things.  I have a small storage unit in my town to store things I will be using such as my surfboards, snowboard, stand up paddle boards, bike and my small dual season wardrobe. (all of the important things)  However, not much space is needed since my goal is to have as little of a footprint while living in my camper in order to feel less stress and have more of my mind/spirit open up to the guidance I will receive in my writing and living.

Update on something exciting:  I recently found out Dr. Joe Dispenza and Dr. Caroline Myss (Author of Anatomy of the Spirit)  are appearing next month in Washington at the Celebrate Your Life (CYL) Retreat in Stevenson, WA.  This is a beautiful location at the Oregon and Washington border along the Columbia River Gorge.  When I found out about their appearances the event was sold out, however, I put my name on the wait list for the event.  I didn't give it much thought after, however, I was contacted on Thursday that a spot had opened up and I can attend!!!!   I am very excited about seeing these wise people in person and feeling the energy that will be at such a high vibration and highly loving event.  I will be camping in the area near where the event is taking place so lodging will not be expensive.  The infamous Bridge of the Gods is near where the event is held.  This bridge was the final place the character crossed in the Movie/Book "WILD" the movie featured Reece Witherspoon.  I have yet to read the book, but it is on my list.    I had a few reservations about attending the CYL retreat due to it being right in the middle of the time when I should be preparing myself and my home for move out, but I figured this was a once in a lifetime where I don't have to fly to this event and have the ability to have it so close to my home that I should jump on the opportunity.  There are people attending from all over the world and I am lucky enough to practically have the event happening in my backyard (4 hours away.)  There is so much excitement (aka terrifying things) happening in my life right now, I am on the fence about starting to make little videos each day documenting the happenings, struggles, and excitements.  Writing a blog each day is already a new habit I am forming, so I will give myself a little time to add yet another new creative venture into the mix.  This is one of the biggest reasons I feel good about selling my home and moving out.  Homeownership takes up a lot of energy and I tend to acquire things and habits that do not serve me, but seem to take up my time.  My intention is for all of that energy once spent on yard upkeep, all of my lovely plants, and clean home to be given to things that bring me more joy.  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love plants and watching the miracle of things growing, however, the everyday maintenance and my habitual excuses of laziness have kept me from doing things I know (spending time outdoors/adventures) bring me more joy and inspiration.  This is the intention - to be inspired and love myself more.