9 November 2015
Where to start... How did I get here to this point in my life where writing about not so impressive things and sharing that with the world sounds like a great idea? Right now at the fresh young age of 36 I just realized that there are many things about me that I have repressed for so long and now is the time to come alive. Life is a blessing, once I discovered this and stopped being a victim (pointing fingers) everything in life started to change for me. I feel that shift started to be intense somewhere around the year I earned myself a free ticket to spend the night in the San Diego's women's prison drunk tank (aka Jail). Yes, I'll say that was a wonderful event in my life that "woke me up" from my slumber of being on the WRONG path for my soul. Don't think I'm crazy - the experience REALLY sucked more than I can put into words and was the most humiliating experience I have had as an adult (and I have had many shitty experiences), but the lesson, the humbleness, the GIFT of the experience was priceless.
Why do I want to share this? I feel it is important for anyone that may have the pleasure of knowing me someday that I have had my dark night of the soul (more than once or twice). The dark night of the soul could be referred to experiences that shake up our life, tear us down, rip us apart, break us open, however, after all of the destruction comes the beauty that lies after the storm. The resilience you create within your heart & soul. That is where the magic lies & I truly feel that no person on this planet is exempt from having to face the dark night of the soul. It could be a divorce, a debilitating health issue, the loss of a child or family member, just to name a few examples. For me, it was the crushing of my ego that was going down the wrong road fast. (I can write more about that in the future for sure)
Humility is a great teacher, not enough for me to learn, it took me more than a year after my visit to jail to start to slowly love and slowly start to have respect for myself. You better believe I am still working on that every single day for sure (it's not the easy thing if you are not used to it). Every single day of life is WORK (if you are learning) I choose not be on auto-pilot during this lifetime. I choose to go through challenges & surprises & the unknown. If there is one thing that I can share with you is to take the steps, make life scary & exciting. We only get one life so be bold.
