The Never Enough Syndrome

While cooking lunch of eggs, Montana sweet corn, and zucchini today I realized….. I have it all. I literally have everything I need to have a good life and I am not just referring to the Montana sweet corn. I had this realization while cooking: I have always struggled with the “never enough syndrome” in my life.

I feel my current quest is to strip my life down as minimal as I can get in order to understand the core of my existence. This has even included working/teaching/”doing” to fully let go of everything I have always thought I needed to be. I have nothing to prove to anyone, nothing to accomplish (except my school assignments), only learning to love myself, appreciate who I am away from everyone who things I am fabulous. At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter how many people love and attend the classes I teach, how many thoughtful and loving comments I get on a social media post or how many friends and family graciously open their homes to me and treat me like family.

I realize this has been the thing in my life I was really searching for and in these precious days of being alone - only in the alone can I truly experience the ups and downs fully that are in my mind and heart. I think this is what we are all craving to understand (and not taught in school) is that the ups and downs are always there. Heck, one wouldn’t exist without the other. I feel the separation from the cell service for me has helped me get even more clear from the world and the noise constant connection can bring. I am able to understand more clearly the messages that spirit is wanting me to hear.

I rested pretty good yesterday evening, but I have to say that I am exhausted. I need a few more REALLY great nights of sleep to recover from my weeks of travel and adventure thus far. I plan on staying in the Tetons for about a week to let myself recover and soak up the vibes, get my school work submitted ahead of my journey (maybe) up to Glacier.

Thank goodness for my perfect little campsite by the lake, and a nice flat spot to practice yoga today amongst the trees. I am thankful to be out of Yellowstone, it was overwhelming (people) and beautiful. I am happy to have some downtime in a very very small campground that feels like I am in the forest.