Comfort is boring......
Today is July 4th 2018, I am packing up my home to go on the market next week. I have decided the old style of the American dream (having a home & white picket fence) has become boring to me. I hunger for the unknown, an adventure where life will probably not be so damn comfortable each day. I am ok with not being comfortable & have learned that comfort makes me lazy & comfort can make me feel older. I will share an excerpt of something I wrote in my journal last week called "Adrenaline Junkie"
I'm bored, it's June 2018 and I'm living a boring life. I ride my bike to a ferry each day, go to school in Seattle for a few hours a day, and ride my bike home. During these days the most excitement I have is the crappy weather (brrr) & cruising my bike downhill on my daily commute. Since I have lived in this super comfortable & cozy home, I haven't surfed in almost a year (it's cold & I am spoiled). Speaking of the ocean, I have only been in the ocean a handful of times this year when I was spending a week in Mexico for a yoga retreat (the water was lovely & warm).I am so bored & it is all in my hands. Last year in December on my Christmas (aka Winter Solstice) getaway when I was still in the Navy active duty with one foot out the door, I went camping at the beach. The temps were in the 30's and on the drive back home it snowed. However, I had a blast all by myself and I felt so ALIVE & I felt EXCITEMENT. Even though I have been camping a couple times since then, I really haven't felt ALIVE & EXCITED in quite a while. I have been living the safe, comfortable what I would call the boring life since I got out of the Navy 4 months ago and it is time to shake things up a bit.
******** Honestly, I don't know the exact day that I wrote this in my journal because I only put the month on the entry & not the exact day. On the page next to this entry, I wrote some things that I notice on the ferry each day & these things made me feel sad & repressed similar to the feelings I felt when I was in the Navy. Things like, noticing while I was on the ferry people sleeping because they are exhausted, girls that basically get ready for work in the ferry bathroom each morning by doing their hair & make up, and these things were all sad to me for some reason. I guess deep in my heart and soul this is not the reason we are here on the planet. We are not here on the planet to "dress up & go to work" I feel we are here to enjoy nature & have fun adventures outside with our feet on the ground in the dirt & when things get to "routine" I myself get bored & want to know what is around the next door of adventure. I am happy with the choices I made this year about attending school & learning all of the tools & lessons I am learning about this year. Not only is the information priceless in my Energy & Massage trainings, but it has given me this whole year to feel "confident" financially as well as understand that the "cozy home" that I couldn't wait to live in each day has some difficult things that come along with it. Out of the 1200 sq ft, I literally only use the kitchen & my bedroom so I feel all of the extra space is a waste of energy that I don't need. Honestly, aside from the home the main point I have come to understand about my life is I need adventure & if I don't have the adventure & excitement of the unknown I get really bored & I am not living on the path I am supposed to live on. My family has come to understand that you never know what is going to happen next with me. Who was I to try and change that about me & pretend that I could settle down in a neighborhood & call someplace home? That just didn't work out and that is ok. I am very grateful for the journey & it has not been a comfortable one that is for sure. I Look forward to documenting my old journal post from this past year of all the pain, tears, and misery that I have been working through to get to the brilliant understanding of myself. I love this thought below that I will share to close this post. (its time for me to get to work on preparing the house for the sell & my life for another move) The saying goes something like this....
If you are walking through the woods and you notice a clear path, you know that is not your path. The path you are meant to take will not be clear, it will not have signs or directions to follow. Your path will be unique to you & only you can know the way by clearing your path by yourself.
Written: July 4th, 2018
