Books, Fall colors, and the "B" word

I have an addiction - reading books. It may not be a bad addiction, however, I constantly wonder if the time I spend reading should be spent doing other things. Honestly, reading helps me deal with my commute to and from school. I would much rather read a book than do my studying for school or homework. I have been lucky enough to get all of the work done for my school - this week was finals week. After today (in which I am giving six massages) I will be ready to start my final term of school next week. I am surprised at how quickly this whole process has passed, I find it hard to believe that this time last year in 2017, I was still in the Navy. Also, this time last year I was a totally different person. So much has changed in such little time. However, if you would have asked me if time was going by quickly in the beginning of the year - not so much, I was in a state of hell that I guess I had created in my life, but I have slowly started to rise out of the ashes of my tough times and I am living a lovely life at the moment.

Reading books is something I didn’t really get into until I was in my thirties. I always had to read information for my Navy job and memorize things to do the work I did, however, I wasn’t reading for myself or my life, I was reading for the “job.” I feel when I got really serious about reading for my life was in 2011 when I started practicing yoga and enrolled in the teacher training program. Some of the same books where on the reading list for yoga school that were on my list for massage school when I attended in Hawaii in 2004 (ish) I never read the books back then because I felt the information was to “weird” or “out of my league of thinking.” This experience helps give me great understanding to be gentle when thinking that making a book recommendation to someone is a wise decision. Some people aren’t ready for some information, some people aren’t ready for the discipline that reading requires, some people don’t want to learn new information and that is perfectly fine. The biggest lesson I have learned in compassion is that each person is on their specific journey in life and there is not one person who knows what is best for another person. Our need in life is to focus on our own path and not be concerned with others so much.

I used to get trapped into thinking that I was helping others, however, what I was really doing was thinking I was superior to others by helping and this is not a great vibe to be living from. Now, I have learned more about the Earth school from Dolores Cannon’s teachings and I kind of understand better that you never really know nor understand what anyone needs. If you are busy worrying or thinking about what another person needs, you really and truly are neglecting your own personal growth that could be taking place. I have so much to learn and grow through and I feel very excited to have a space of leadership in the yoga community to share the things that I have lived through. I want to serve people from a place of understanding from now on and not a place of superiority. I look back and realize that any time I have felt superior to another is because of my own ignorance of the process of life on Earth and/or my own insecurity.

I am on the ferry now headed to school, these beautiful fall days are just passing by and I am doing my best to soak up the colors of the trees with my eyes and say thank you in my heart, as I know nothing last forever. Everything is always changing and I am doing better at flowing with that constant in life. Tomorrow I have an energy healing appointment with my Energy healer in Seattle, I really look forward to the time with her. Also, I am attending my energy training with her and the group of twenty healers on Saturday. I always enjoy being in the presence of these lovely people. I always look forward to discovering new things. I guess I had some crazy idea that when I moved out of my home, I would have more time to chill and relax, but life is happily packed with lots of activities. Notice, how I didn’t use the “B” word. I am not a fan of the “B” word, but I will use happily packed or productive in the place of the “B” word. (aka Busy) I am over the days of glorifying the “B” word. It doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. I only want to be happily productive or happily serving others or happily attending events. My youth was spent turning my wheels and trying to prove my worthiness and I no longer want to spend my days no being happy with my time. I truly feel that our words are the most powerful creator or the most powerful destroyer, I want to continue to be mindful of the words I use and be mindful of the power of their energy.