How did I stumble upon this Hawaii thing?

If you didn’t know, my entire 2018 was spent in school and committed to a schedule. This was excellent for me the first year after the Navy, because I needed structure of some sort since I had been following a very strict structure my entire lifetime. I found by watching other people that it is really difficult to go from having your whole day always planned to having absolutely no structure to your day without some “transitional time” and this is why a year of school right off the bat was so excellent for me to experience. It not only gave me time to decompress from being the very rigid person I was in the Military, but it also gave me time to experience small amounts of freedom that were awesome. If I would have went from having no freedom to all of the freedom in the world, I don’t know how well that would have turned out and I have someone that was once very special in my life to thank for that lesson.

Anyways…. I wanted to share how it has came about that I am all of sudden moving to Hawaii for months to work on a retreat center. If I remember correctly, it was around late October or early November I received an email from my friend and previous room mate who at the time was living in Costa Rica. The email was from Yoga Trade, a company that offers a place for people needing yoga teachers or healing arts professionals a place to post their offerings that sometimes include salary and others just the experience of living at the retreat center for work exchange to usually include room/board and meals. There were many overseas opportunities and I did apply for a few positions (mainly in management) however, I realized that since I was in school and working and traveling on top of school - I didn’t really put any effort into my profile on the website nor did I put much effort into my “yoga resume.” I was just browsing and not taking this seriously. So of course, none of those places responded to me and that is ok. Deep in my gut, I knew that I needed to put more effort and give a shit into my resume if I really wanted to be taken seriously as a teacher and healer. I have yet to do this.

However, I did apply for another position (where I am going on the big island) and I couldn’t be more happy that this has worked out. I applied for this Big Island Gig back in November and didn’t get my interview until January. I had started to play around with different future options and really was keeping my options wide open as I didn’t want any rigid plans. New Years Eve was the very last yoga class I taught at my local studio, because I figured it was time for me to have some space to breath and create new things. I have learned when we are in the rat race and hustling from one thing to the next, unless we have an amazing meditation practice and create space - we really don’t allow ourselves any time or energy to create the unknown. 2019 for me is going to be a year of the unknown. I am finally at a point in my life where I have minimized my living arrangements to have the freedom of not being tied down to a bunch of responsibilities that I really don’t even want in the first place. This is the mistake that I made earlier but I didn’t even know that owning a home and having lots of things was a mistake, because American culture somehow applauds you for having a bunch of things you don’t use or need and a house to put it all in. What I have figured out is these things kind of keep you tied down and make you feel obligated to one place. This is great for the individual that fears travel or fears being uncomfortable or the unknown, however, I am so thankful that I listened to the voices inside my soul that said “sell your house now” back in July.

Alright, back to the Big Island Place: There are quite a few special things about the retreat center that I am working at. First and foremost is that I won’t be teaching yoga (or I don’t really plan on it) I volunteered mainly to do farm work. This retreat center is completely off grid and that is the reason that I am so attracted to it. I have a huge desire to learn not only how to live off grid, but I really want to learn how to operate and what special efforts go in to living and operating an off grid establishment/home. I wanted to do actual hands on labor on working farm because I feel this is the best way for me to live and feel my healthiest. I love being active and at the same time learning and getting my hands dirty. I am thankful for that.

The biggest interesting part about this retreat center is that its foundation is Conscious Sensuality. I know I have a lot to learn about it, but since I have been young relationships (any form) haven’t been what I am good at. I know this first starts with the relationship with myself and I have more and more self discovery that I am looking forward to diving into. I feel that being in a Conscious community where there is no alcohol and no drugs there will be a safe place for me to continue to understand what blocks I started to put up way back when I was a little girl that has blocked me from loving myself fully and in that case blocking myself from love from others. Even this past week when I was at the most loving event Dr. Joe Dispenza’s advanced meditation retreat - I could feel my walls up so high. I have lived my life alone for the most part and being solo is a safe place for me, I don’t have to fear being hurt and I feel that I created this mechanism as a young girl to somehow protect myself, but I don’t necessarily think this is the way I want to live for the rest of my life. I am looking forward to this three month or so experience of Conscious connection with others to see what comes up for me and see what I still need to learn about myself that I have lost somewhere along the path.

I found this particular opportunity to work on a farm by searching on www.yogatrade.com and I have recently became a member of WWWOOF which is short for World Wide Work on Organic Farms and when I am later traveling in the US, I may want stop along the way to work on some farms and meet some amazing people and learn about growing different crops and animals. When I am in my camper, I thought this would be a great alternative to staying a to many campgrounds where as a single person, I don’t have as many interactions or conversations as I might like to have. Also, I really wanted to see what other farm work opportunities there are in Hawaii when it is winter time in the states, because, if I don’t have to be in the months of cold and snow……. why not???

I am taking a week of vacation time on Oahu before I head over to the Big Island and one of my many personal goals is to update my yoga resume to reflect all of the skills and talent that I possess as a teacher, but for the next 3-4 months I will be happy to work hard, meet new people and be opened up in ways that I have never been challenged before and I am really looking forward to the unknown experience of it all.