Learning to Chill
Since returning from my week long retreat in Vancouver, along with being snowed in and being forced to chill out - I am relishing in the chill. I have been waiting for this my entire adult life and I didn’t know how I would handle it. Before the retreat happened, I was involved with school for the past year, teaching yoga up until the beginning of 2019, attending energy healing classes once a month, and seeing clients for massage on the regular. Needless to say, my schedule was way more relaxed than it had been in the past twenty years, however, I feel the year of 2018 was a great year of “learning to slow down”.
This week is a week of tying up loose ends before I fly out of the continental united states and head out to the Big Island to work on a farm for three months. I still have my taxes to complete, some cell phone and post office to-dos and the big one is taking my written driving test tomorrow morning and the driving portion of the driving test next week so I can get a drivers license. (yes, there are many areas in my life where I don’t set a good example for others to follow) This is just one example (ha,ha) Anyways, in order to rent a car for the week I am on Oahu (in order to surf around the island) I need a drivers license and I have procrastinated down to the very last minute and to be honest, I almost forgot about it.
Anyways, I have brought my meditation practice back to life. It is the cornerstone of my life being solid and grounded and whole. I am currently using Dr. Joe Dispenza’s “Blessings of the Energy Centers vol. 1" morning and night and I feel it is having a big impact on my life. I have been sleeping a solid nine to ten hours each night and I wake up feeling amazing. An interesting thing that I have noticed is that I am having very vivid dreams before I wake and they have involved my past lovers (for the past two nights or so) Nothing wrong with the dreams and I haven’t been taking the time to write them down, but I have the strong feeling that I am somehow releasing the energy that these relationships have been taking up in my energy field. I am noticing the biggest thing I need to continue to have is forgiveness for myself of the mistakes I have made with others. I remember a great line that says “ I forgive myself for being a learner in this lifetime.”
Most of the work done at our week long retreat was releasing life force energy from our lower centers 1,2, & 3 up through our heart center and beyond in order to create more healing, wholeness, and coherence in the body and energy field. I feel since I am working with intent on releasing the energy from these centers that I am somehow setting free this energy that I didn’t even know that I had alive down there. I look forward to seeing the future effects of releasing my past out of my energy field and I am still pretty amazed at how much is there that we are not consciously aware of. Maybe more things will be released and let go of as I continue to do the work.
Needless to say, I am going to continue to learn to chill more. When I say chill, I am not talking about my feet propped up and a drink in my hand watching a movie kind of chill. What I am referring to is trusting in the work I am doing with the Divine Intelligence that keeps everything going in our world, trusting that I don’t need to know all of the answers to what the hell I am doing in the future, trusting that my health will be fully restored if I allow the work to truly flow through my body and energy field, and lastly I trust that no one else is more important that myself at the moment. My healing of my body and energy ultimately has a ripple effect on the world. I trust that the work I continue to do on myself is my purpose in life, I don’t need to prove anything to anyone, I don’t need to get validation from anyone, I don’t need to look for love outside of myself. I am learning to trust that I already have everything I could ever want and need, and this is bringing me peace. In this peace, I am learning to chill.
