Being Single
I may not be an expert at many things, but the subject of being single is one I am very familiar with. I got the idea for this post last night as I was eating dinner alone at a great little burger joint. When I go out to eat at a place that has a bar area, I will always sit in that area since the seating is always open & seat yourself style. As I took a seat, I notice that everyone around was in couples - oh, and there was one family group. This is something that I have gotten used to (eating alone) and it started when I was a teenager living in Italy.
My second duty station was Gaeta, Italy (USS Lasalle AGF-3) I chose Italy as my second duty station since I got to go on a Mediterranean deployment and see the culture of Europe. I actually crave that environment as I write this post. When I was 19 years old, I got on a plane headed to Italy and I had no idea what to expect. I can share more about my worldly experiences later, but I will try my best to stay on point with the single thing in this post.
Funny thing is there was an amazing Chinese place to eat in the Italian town that I lived in and I remember wanting that food so badly, I had to make a decision to go out by myself to eat or miss out on the food that I was craving. Eating out alone was a new and awkward experience at the young age of 19, but now at the young age of 38 it is normal like riding my bike. I am very thankful to learn this valuable life lesson at a young age because there are so many things in my life that I have done alone and had I not had the courage to learn this style of being when I was a teenager, I may have missed out on many cool experiences out of fear of being alone while doing it. I have seen this with many people around me and my heart breaks for them. Many people will not go and have an adventure or go do something they truly desire to do unless they have someone with them. If they are happy this way, I am happy for them, however, I feel that life is so short and precious we should jump on those desires we want anytime we can..... even when we may have to jump alone.
I have moved so many times in my life and most of the time I have moved to a place where initially I didn't know anyone in the area. When I moved to Hawaii I arrived on a Thursday of a four day holiday weekend. When I checked in to my ship that I was reporting to, they welcomed me and sent me back out on my own and said "enjoy your 4 days off." Cool, however, I had no plan and work was always my focus when checking into a new place. When I got the word of all of those days off, I went back to the airport area and rented a car for the weekend since my Chevy S-10 hadn't arrived to the island yet. Try to remember that all of my moving was before GPS and Smart phone days so I used that rental car map to learn my way around the island and believe it or not, it worked out pretty well.
Life is an adventure!!! I love taking a road I have never traveled down before. I love taking a trip to a new place. I love seeing what is behind door #1 or #5. Being single has given me the opportunity to have the experiences on my own terms. In my life, when I have been in relationships they were fun, however, after a while I got a little tired of always being the one that creates the "adventure" and new experiences for the other person. I also feel that because I am so spontaneous I actually enjoy going solo so I don't have to consult with another or deal with seeing if they have the ability to change their plans for the million times that I choose to change my mind and my plans. I have been blessed with wonderful partners in the past that were very up to adventure and my mind changing and I appreciate them greatly.
These days I understand energy a little bit more and vibration when it comes to connection between people. I understand that if my vibration is at a certain level, it will not attract something that doesn't match that vibration. I have to accept that no matter how cute a guy is or what activities he loves to do, if we are not a vibrational match or it is not the right time, I will not attract someone into my life. I have to also accept that to experience the amazing things that I am going through on my journey right now, I want to do them alone so I can really focus on the learning points. When I am in a relationship, I tend to focus on the other person more than my own well being sometimes. Now is a time in my life where I need to refocus my energy on myself, I feel that there is somethings I have to learn by being alone & there is so much to discover about myself. One of my hopes by living this way and being loving toward myself is to inspire any other people who feel society pressure to "be in a relationship" when maybe there heart and soul needs some precious alone time to understand more about themselves. I have had lots of single time in my life, but I feel that way to much of my single time in the past was "looking & hoping & searching" for the next boyfriend to link up with.
Each and everyday I get to watch my thoughts; I get to notice when my mind drifts off to wishing I had a romantic partner to snuggle naked with or get kisses from. By being the observer of my mind it gives me some perspective on the areas of my life that I want to strengthen - like LOVE FOR MYSELF. I was told by my Granny that the only purpose I have in this lifetime is TO LOVE MYSELF and that I have a long way to go. I am never letting her wise words leave me and I am going to continue to devote my life to self love. Only when I truly love myself can I be a compassionate and loving teacher to help other beautiful humans feel comfortable putting their self love first priority on their life goals.
